Blessings to a Beloved Aunt

Your body begs for your surrender
Our prayers change from life to death
Death and life interlaces with out fingers
Never knowing that death could bless

Pulling you close to my chest
In order for our hearts to match pace
Our eyes meet and I kiss your head
Never knew such beauty in one place

You've fought your enter life to live
Only to be taken by a final bruise
My entire heart I choose to give
For I know that love will not lose

May angels take your hands and guide you home
Your symbol of hope taking their shape
Always loved and never alone
As you finally fly, losing all weight.

Beauty Found

Loneliness.

The worst of experiences, but a universal one.

It’s an aching need.

And no one likes need. 

Because needs place an obligation on provision.

And no one wants to be an obligation.

Everyone just wants to be known.

It’s deceiving, for one would think that others would be the answer.

But not always.

For in a crowd of a thousand, one can experience the deepest bouts.

Outside, the noise is deafening.

Inside, it’s the silence that deafens. 

Fear lingers as the bouts deepen.

For the greater the loneliness, the greater the risk.

It’s vulnerability at its prime

And the stakes are high.

Requests are made with quivering lips.

Needs are held with trembling hands.

What happens if I am not known?

What happens if I do not contain Beauty?

When the cost outweighs the risk, isolation shows its face.

And it’s the only face to be seen.

It’s amazing how many prayers are released in these states.

How often my eyes are fixed upward…asking… pleading.

Doubts begins to creep, and I question.

I pray harder, pace quicker, stare longer.

Silence.

Maybe if I do, then I can be.

Maybe if I’m you, then I can’t be me.

And what if I can’t be me…..

There is hope in being truly seen.

There is hope in vulnerability.

There is hope when two come together for the sole purpose of knowing the other - choosing to see the other.

And a part of seeing is perceiving.

And perception involves interpretation.

And isn’t Beauty found in the eyes of the Beholder.

And how I long to behold Beauty.

For isn’t that what we were created for.

To behold and be beheld.

To see and be seen.

Those that choose to see beauty, are the ones that truly see.

And it’s in those moments when I am found.

Found by Him.

Found through the eyes that are willing to see.

Found as I truly see.

Ugliness is Beauty starved.

And loneliness cannot exist when Beauty is fed.

Choose to see.

Life is a Heading Home

I have been making myself well acquainted with the ground.

It seems a safe investment, for there is no farther to fall.

And I am so tired of falling.

The worst part about falling is the anticipation of where you will land.

The fear is debilitating, risky, damaging, life threatening.

But I feel a certain level of contentment when I have embraced gravity and joined with the Earth.

For there is no risk. 

I feel safe with the Earth.

For I realized that if one does not rise, one will not fall.

A bargain has been made.

A due has been paid.

A settlement with the Earth at the cost of our souls.

For I feel safe with the Earth, but was made for the Heavens.

There is something in me that pleads with Him to raise this lifeless body.

For I know that apathy will reign if gravity wins.

And I know the cost. 

I know the loss.

I know what it has taken to bring bodies down low. 

And for hearts to sink lower.

I know what it means to lose.

And what it means to be lost.

And I know that if I choose to stand, I will eventually make myself one with the dirt again.

And again…

And again…

And again…

I rolled over on my back and stared at the ceiling light.

It was beautiful, inviting, warm.

With gravity at my back, I was drawn by a different force.

And something moved in my heart.

A compelling desire to be with.

To belong.

To be home.

Gravity is unavoidable.

But homecoming is inevitable.

And though gravity is safe, Home is Divine.

And though gravity “wins”, Home has already won.

Because Home has always been mine.

So I stand.

Being raised by Another.

Taking the risk.

Homeward bound.

For life is all a heading Home.